Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Beginning

Today is day one.

Well, actually, it's technically day 5, but this is thw official day one of the new journey in my book.

Our appointment with our fertility specialist last month went fairly well. I had to have an ultrasound which was fantastically uncomfortable and unsuccessful (Dr. Maybebaby coulnd't locate my ovary... whaaa?), and it was more or less sitting in his office with my husband discussing the possibilities and that severely uncomfortable 10 minutes of probing. We discussed all the options, went over medical records again, and decided that the best step would be to start with a medication that will hopefully stimulate my remaining ovary to properly ovulate. This drug is called Clomifene, more popularly known as Clomid. The way it's supposed to work is that I take the Clomid on days 5 through 9 of my menstrual cycle, and around day 13 or 14 I start using a home ovulation predictor kit to see if it worked and if I am ovulating. Today is that day 5, which I've been waiting for for 3 weeks (which has seemed like FOREVER). I really have a good feeling about this drug working for us, but I'm trying very hard not to let my hopes and imagination get out of control. Clomid is what worked for my mother when she was trying to get pregnant with me, and aside from the fact that I have one less ovary than she did, our fertility struggles have so far been identical. It's hard not to get my hopes up with that knowledge. We will try the Clomid every month for 4 months (hopefully it won't take that many months but again... tryin' to keep myself in check), and if by the end of four months it's still not working, we'll have to go to the next step. Dr. Maybebaby suggested the next step would be a round of Clomid at a higher dosage combined with IUI (intrauterine insemination). I think this is silly, as we have no problem with getting the sperm where it needs to go... hence, I think the next step would be gonadotropin injections. They are stronger than the Clomid, and obviously not just a pill. And if that doesn't work, we go to IVF. I'm trying not to panic myself by thinking of every step we'll have to take if this doesn't work. My husband is the calm and logical one; I'm the emotional basket-case worrier. I don't even say my worries aloud anymore, but he is strangely/acutely aware of when I am thinking of them. I hear the words, "one step at a time, baby" out of him more than I care to, but certainly not more than I need to. Regardless of the outcome of all of this craziness, I will never be able to forget or take for granted how much of a rock he has been. He is unfailingly positive and relaxed and so freakin'grounded, and I have no idea how a nutjob like myself landed the perfect balance of a man to quell my crazy. As adorably excited as he is at the prospect of us possibly starting our family, he's is a pro at cautious optimism and making sure that I don't get too ahead of myself. I love him so much for that.

So today we start the Clomid, and really start the journey. On the 22nd or so, I'll start testing for ovulation and if that's a go, we get to have a, uh, marathon. Ahem. ;)

Wish us luck!! We'll need it.